It is true what they say, you can’t choose your family. However, I am sure sometimes you probably wish that you could. I am incredibly blessed with an enormous family. I have around 20 aunties and uncles from both sides of my family.
Which means that I have around 50 cousins. Naturally, there are times when we don’t always get along. The more family members, the more chance of friction and I am most certainly no stranger to that. In this post, I am going to share with you some of the ways to work out family tensions. Small things to get you back on track and in a positive place… or at least a civil place!
Take time apart.
Like any relationship, family or otherwise, taking time apart is imperative. There are times when I need distance from my husband for an hour or two. So, it is only natural that you will need time apart from your family. Whenever I am trying to work out family tensions, I always start with a little time apart. Just time to think things over without getting too het up. That way I can rejoin the conversation in a much better headspace and with a level attitude.
Speak openly.
If you can’t talk openly in front of your family, then who can you speak openly to? I think it is always important to share your views honestly and move from there. I have never felt like I have to change my opinions or views because of my family members. However, I can absolutely understand that I come from a very open and talkative family. Regardless of the subject, I always feel like I am able to share my views and I think the other members of my family would agree with that sentiment.
Communicate calmly.
If you have a disagreement with somebody, it is very easy for communication to alter and for the tone to change. It is sometimes involuntary, and it can happen when people talk with passion. However something key that you need to remember is that communicating calmly is always important in order to work out family tensions. Even if somebody else is becoming high rate, take time, breath deeply and try to keep a calm tone and communicate your message opinion in a suitable tone.
Seek others’ opinions.
Sometimes, when you are at the center of something it can be difficult to see clearly through the noise. Because of this sometimes if there is an ongoing family tension, I will seek other people’s opinions. I might just bounce what has happened past another neutral family member. They may turn around and say, “You’re in the wrong”. They may even side with me. But the one thing that families are good at is staying neutral. They will let you know when your been crazy, bring you back down to earth and tell you how to move on with things.
Acknowledge your feelings are valid.
Whatever the outcome of the argument or resolution, it is ok to remember that you feelings and opinions. Sometimes we have to put out views to one side in order to proceed with a relationship, but that doesn’t mean that we have to put aside how we feel. There have been many times where I have had to bite my tongue, let bygones be bygones. But I just remind myself that my feelings and views are valid. Sometimes you just need to be the bigger person, even if it pains you to do so. Just always consider if it is worth losing somebody due to a differing of opinion. Most of the time, the answer will be no.
